PREFACE - This book is written for young people and the adults who care about them, as a guide to dating and the relationships between sexes.

When thousands of questions from youth were collected and analyzed as background for Facts of Life and Love for Teen-Agers, two of the most frequently asked questions were: (1) How do you get a date? and (2) What do you do with a date when you get one?

01. GOOD START - Dating is one of the most exciting periods of your life. Sud­denly, there are new horizons before you, friendships flower, your personality blooms, and your sense of being a desirable person worthy of affection becomes real. This is a time of great exhilaration, splendor, and discovery. To live it fully is to enjoy one of life's most delightful experiences.

02. READY TO DATE? - How is it that some people start dating at such a young age, and others are so much older before they begin to have dates? Both teen-agers and their parents often wonder what is the best age to begin dating. The question looms even more nowadays because so many young people start their dating so early in life. Should parents be concerned? Is there really a special age at which dating should begin?

03. DATE'S AGE - Parents and other adults tend to prefer that young people date within their own age group. It's usual for high school students to be encouraged to date within their own class, where there is little age difference between boy and girl. Even in college many social events are held on the assumption that coeds will attend with boys from their own class.

04. RIGHT DATE - Young people are rightly concerned about whom to date and whom not to date. Get a good date, and you have fun, your parents approve, and your friends welcome you to social affairs. Get someone your parents and friends dislike, or some­one you don't find companionable, and you can have a miserable time. Sometimes it also happens that the person your parents consider a fine date leaves you cold, and the one you would like to date just doesn't rate with your friends and fam­ily. Then what

05. ASKING - Some people find it easy to ask for a date. But for many young people this is a very complicated process. How far in advance should you ask? What shall you say? What if she says "No"? These and many other questions are asked by young men all over the country. Even some fellows who have been dating for quite a while are still unsure of the proper approach in asking for dates.

06. ACCEPTING - Whether to accept or refuse a date is not as clear-cut as it might seem at first glance. Many young women have questions regarding whether they should accept a specific invitation and how they should refuse if it is necessary. Girls are especially eager to find some way of refusing a date without hurting the feelings of the boy involved. Even if she doesn't care to date him at all, it's still a good idea for her to decline the invita­tion in such a way that the boy will not feel hurt.

07. HOW OFTEN? - As soon as you begin to go out, you will face the question of how often and how late you should date. Such ques­tions as the following are asked by high school and college boys and girls in both large and small communities everywhere.

How many nights a week should a teen-ager go out on dates? Should a teen-ager date on school nights?

08. WHAT TO DO - "What shall we do tonight?" is a frequent question asked by dating couples. Teen-agers are always looking for some­thing to do that's different, that's fun, and that won't cost too much money. Social opportunities for young people are lim­ited in many communities, and those that are available are often not as wholesome or varied as they might be.

Even young people who live in large metropolitan areas are often concerned about what to do on a date.

09. HOW MUCH - As soon as you enter your teens you start to be concerned about money. For the first few years of life, your needs are pretty well taken care of by your parents. If you want some­thing you ask them to buy it for you or to give you the money for it. You're more concerned about whether or not you can have something than where the money will come from for it.

10. FAMILIES - Cars are often a cause of friction between young people and their families. Sometimes parents just don't seem to real­ize how important a car can be to a teen-ager. And con­versely, teen-agers don't understand why parents feel such anxiety and concern over their use of the family car. If most of the young men you know have access to a car, it seems even more unreasonable if you are not permitted to drive.

11. SAY "NO" - Everyone has to say "No" at times. Sometimes it's easy, but most of the time it's hard. Adults have to say "No" when asked to do something that's against their principles. Very important is learning how to say "No" when you're invited to do something you'd rather not do. You will want to learn how to refuse an invitation without hurting the feelings of the person who asks you.

12. FALLING IN LOVE - Of course, you will fall in love. Falling in love is a part of dating. In fact, most young people fall in and out of love several times during their teen years. It's normal to grow fond of members of the other sex with whom you associate and share interests and have good times.

Learning to love and to be loved is an important part of growing up. But it can be confusing.

13. AFFECTION - "Should I express affection on a date?"

"Must I kiss a boy good night?"

"How far should I go in necking?"

These are some of the questions boys and girls everywhere ask. There are many more, for young people want to know what is acceptable in this delicate area of a relationship. Problems centering around parking and petting are univer­sal now, with so many dates taking place in automobiles.

14. SEXUAL RELATIONS - You may not be dating long before you meet up with the question: Why not go all the; way? Premarital chastity used to be taken for granted. Today some people question it as a standard of behavior. Others openly brag of their own pre­marital experience and urge the uninitiated to do likewise. Now more than ever it is necessary for a young person to decide upon personal standards of sexual conduct.

15. GOING STEADY - When a boy and girl date only each other to the exclusion of anyone else, they are said to be "going steady." This is something new in dating practice. In former generations a courting pair might be "keeping steady company," but this usually meant that they were serious enough about each other to be planning marriage. Going steady nowadays frequently implies no such commitment to the future.

16. GETTING MARRIED - Eventually dating leads to marriage. As two persons date each other more and more, they come to have feelings that they take to be real love. So they have an understanding that in time they'll get married. Engagement and eventually mar­riage then are theirs to work through together.

Actually the process of becoming more and more involved with each other is not as smooth as it may seem.

GENERALIZATIONS - Blood, Robert O., Jr., "Uniformities and Diversities in Campus Dating Preferences," Marriage and Family Living, Febru­ary, 1956., "Romance and Premarital Intercourse—Incompatibles?" Marriage and Family Living, May, 1952.

Bloom, Martin, "The Money Problems of Adolescents in the Secondary Schools of Springfield, Massachusetts," Doctor of Education thesis, New York University, 1955.

Christensen, Harold T., "Dating Behavior as Evaluated by High School Students," The American Journal of Sociology, May, 1952.

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